Stalking is not random. It follows patterns. Looking back, my stalker’s behaviour reflected many of the well-documented psychological and behavioural traits commonly associated with stalking perpetrators.
His actions were not isolated incidents or misunderstandings. They formed a consistent pattern shaped by rejection sensitivity, delusional thinking, control & entitlement, and emotional instability — all of which fueled his ongoing harassment.
Understanding these patterns helped me recognize that his behaviour was not about love, connection, or misunderstanding. It was about control.
Rejection & Attachment Sensitivity
One of the most striking aspects of his behaviour was his deep sensitivity to rejection.
He spoke openly on his social media about being estranged from family, friends and colleagues for many years. He described feeling abandoned by his siblings and portrayed himself as a lifelong disappointment to his parents, who he said had disowned him.
These public expressions revealed a long-standing pattern of perceived abandonment.
When I did not reciprocate his unwanted attention, he did not accept that boundary. He did not accept that there was no relationship. Instead, he persisted — as though he were entitled to a connection that never existed.
His inability to accept rejection became the foundation for his stalking.
Delusional Beliefs
He constructed an entirely fictional relationship in his mind.
In reality, we had only worked together briefly more than 20 years earlier. We never dated. We never had a personal relationship.
Yet he publicly claimed we were in a relationship.
He escalated these claims even further, stating that we were married and had purchased a home together.
These were not misunderstandings. They were fabrications presented as fact.
By repeating these claims publicly, he reinforced his own false narrative and attempted to create a reality where he had a permanent and intimate place in my life — without my knowledge or consent.
Control & Entitlement
His behaviour reflected an ongoing need to control how others perceived him.
He obsessively inflated his own importance. He misrepresented his position as an administrative office clerk, falsely presenting himself as a federal agent. He created fake awards using Photoshop and even paid to post self-authored tribute pages in local publications to create the illusion of public recognition.
This pattern of self-manufactured status mirrored how he treated me.
He behaved as though I were someone he could claim, define, and possess — regardless of the truth or my autonomy.
His entitlement over my identity and my life was one of the most disturbing aspects of his stalking.
Emotional Dysregulation
When his false narrative was challenged, his response was extreme.
Instead of accepting reality, he lashed out.
He fabricated accusations against anyone he perceived as a threat — including me, police officers, the legal system, medical professionals, lawyers, and even members of his own family.
He posted constantly about elaborate conspiracies, claiming that people were working together to take his vast fortune.
In reality, he was facing foreclosure and was unemployed.
Rather than accepting responsibility for his circumstances, he redirected blame outward.
This escalation reinforced his victim narrative and intensified his harassment.
The Pattern Behind the Behaviour
These behaviours did not occur in isolation.
Together, they formed a clear and consistent pattern:
• Rooted in rejection
• Fueled by delusion
• Driven by entitlement
• Escalated by emotional instability
This combination is what made his stalking persistent, unpredictable, and dangerous.
Stalking is not about affection. It is about fixation and control.
Recognizing these patterns was critical for my safety — and for understanding that his behaviour was not something I caused, encouraged, or could fix.
Why Understanding Stalker Behaviour Matters
When society misunderstands stalking, victims are often told to ignore it, minimize it, or dismiss it.
But stalking is a pattern-based crime.
Understanding those patterns can help victims:
• Recognize warning signs earlier
• Take threats seriously
• Document behaviours effectively
• Seek protection sooner
Most importantly, it helps survivors understand the truth:
You are not responsible for someone else’s obsession.
Their behaviour is a reflection of them — not you.
